Breaking up is hard to do.

Kris over at Not Yet a Wino has a post about breaking up and to share your worst "break-up story."

In a way, I feel as though the one I shared about Vicki was my worst--even though it wasn't me who got dumped.

It got me thinking about breaking up. As the song says, "It is hard to do." I don't think there is any easy side to it or way to do it. I mean, if you're the one dumped, it hurts. Sometimes it may come out of left field or you may have feelings or an interest in that person and can't fathom why they don't want to be with you. I had an experience along those lines this past summer where I'd met a great woman, we'd gone out, talked on the phone, had some great chemistry but she just didn't quite feel the same thing I did. She wasn't in the same place I was and ready for the same thing I was and that kind of drove us apart. We didn't so much break up so much as the relationship just faded and I think we've both moved on.

It's a shame really because even beyond the whole dating thing, I enjoyed her friendship. And that has been kind of lost as well because I think we both have a lot of foolish pride. I guess I could be the bigger guy and pick up a phone and call just to say hey....

Then you've got the other side of the coin--where you have a change of heart and the other person doesn't necessarily know. While you've had time to come to grips with the fact that you're probably going to break-up, when it hits the other person it's still fresh, new and they may or may not accept it. For example, the woman I was dating and who doesn't seem to take the fact that we're breaking up. She keeps coming up with ways to get back in, to find a way into my life and to try and keep connected. And it's kind of hard because I'll get a message saying "Are you avoiding me?"

Well, quite frankly, I have to say yes. Because I'm afraid of leading you on, giving you false hope. I want to be friends, but right now I know that every nugget and contact with me only feeds the fire that we could and will be together. And right now, I'm not sure that's what I want. The thing is--if I figure out six weeks from now I want to be in a relationship with her and she's moved on, then I guess I only have myself to blame. Honestly, the whole I'm going to keep pursuing isn't that cute or enduring. It only reinforces the feeling that I've made the right choice and she is not the one I want to be with in a relationship right now.

Ugh, dating..it sucks.