Christine: The Beginning

For some reason, Christine* has been on my mind a lot lately. I think part of it was a book I read recently about this guy who is desparately in love with one woman, only to lose her (she dies) and he ends up marrying the best friend to them as kind of this consolation prize and on the rebound. Their marriage quickly deteriorates and things do not end well because he's never quite resolved all of his feelings for the first woman and the woman he ended up marrying always feels like a second choice.

Having been the third wheel of the love triangle, I can know how hard it is to be the consolation prize. I was in love with a woman for years and always the second choice. Second choice to my best friend. It took a hard slap in the face of reality to get over that one and push myself to move on. I did it, it was hard work and, quite frankly, I'm better off for it.

It's interesting to think about that story in the light of this one. I'd just pushed myself to get over that love and was getting back to a place where I could think about really dating--not just going out and having a good time. But actually dating with a purpose of leading to a serious relationship.

And it was about that time I met Christine.

Christine came into my life in an interesting way. It was late summer, early fall. Christine started to visit the church I attended and our paths never crossed for a month. But in that month I heard a lot about her. You know how it is when you're the single guy at church and a single girl arrives. You two are perfect and some of the older ladies of the church are planning the wedding....never mind you two have never met yet.

So, I heard a lot about Christine. And I was pretty skeptical.

Which is why when I met her I was completely unprepared for what happened. See, the church I attended had two services and me being lazy, I went to the later one. Christine went to the earlier one due to work conflicts. So, I kept missing her until one fateful Sunday when she showed up at the late service and I was introduced. We sat near each other and let me just say I got nothing out of the service that day except looking at her and thinking, "Wow, she is cute." Well, that was the day of the church picnic and after service, she asked if I was going. I said I was and she smiled and said she'd see me there.

So, a few hours later I show up for the church picnic. I am nervous as all get and had spent much of the afternoon figuring out what to wear. No, really I did. Don't laugh.

Anyway, once there I started looking for her and found her at a table full of some good friends. There was one chair left across for her and I sat down and she and I began to chat. At some point we both got food, though I don't recall this. What I do recall was this almost electric give and take between us, the likes of which I hadn't felt for, well, a really long time. She laughed, I laughed, we cut up, we traded barbs, there were winks exchanged. It was beyond great and I kept pinching myself, waiting for the dream to end and to wake up alone.

It didn't.

I guess my friends picked up on this because they joined a bit. The escalating flirting reached a zenith when Christine pointed out the guy painting faces on the kids.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, not sure what I was getting into.

"Are you sure?" she said. Her blue eyes were sparkling and I think I felt myself slipping a bit more.

My best friend tried to intervene and save me. "Be careful," he warned.

I was having nothing of it. I said I did and she smiled.

"OK, here's what we do," she said. "You get your face painted and I tell them what to do. You don't get to see it until they're done."

I smiled, figuring that it'd be something simple. I agreed. We then went over and got in line.

Now, I was almost saved by the fact that it was close to the face-painters time to go and the line was long. But I think Christine told some of the kids behind me what she had in mind and they cut out of line...so I couldn't graciously let a small child go in front of me.

I got up and sat down.

"Do whatever she says," I told the guy. He looked at me like I'd grown a second head. I saw Christine smile and point at the sheet of potential face paintings.

"That one," she said. She then laughed.

Unbenknownst to me, my best friend had his video camera and took footage of my face being painted. There are photos to this day of this event. Apparently it was well covered. It's not every day you see a guy going this far to impress a woman. At least not at the church picnic. And they thought the dunk tank was entertaining.

So, I closed my eyes and let them do their worst. I was trying to be cool and calm but I was panicked inside. I kept hearing people saying "He's really doing that?" I had visions of some kind of horrible thing being painted on.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, it was done.

"Fabulous," Chrstine said. ("Fabulous" I would come to find out was her word that she'd use a lot...her catch-phrase if you will).

There were no mirrors near by so I had no clue what was on my face. For all I know it could have said I was a Cowboys fan (I hate the Cowboys). We went back to the table to the bemused faces of my friends. At this point, Christine said, "I guess after all that, you should get my number in case that paint doesn't come off."

My friends later told me that were ready to smack me if I didn't tell her I needed her number and give her mine. Luckily no smackings occurred.

I walked her to her car, got her number and watched her drive off. I floated to my car and caught my reflection in a mirror. Holy cow, I was painted like some lizard. I laughed, got in my car and drove home. I did get some funny looks at stoplights. The make-up came off with little problem--soap and water took care of it.

But when I called her the next day, I left her a message that I needed to talk to her about the face painting.

She called back, worried it had stained my face and we both had a good laugh.

That started the give and take banter of our relationship. I felt myself fall for her hard and fast. I can honestly say I think I'd fallen in love with her that first day we met, though it seems I slipped a little more each time I saw her. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes...all were infectious to me. I loved her sense of humor as well as the stories we shared together. She joined the choir soon after that and I swear that for months I just stood in my pew, staring at her. There was just an electricity to us...a give and take I'd rarely experienced with anyone else.

I began to think she was "the one."

I asked her to my office holiday party and she agreed but had to work at the last minute and couldn't go. I agreed to help run the church sound system for the choir performance so we could spend time together. I took her to a Christmas event at an old haunt of mine from the college days, where I had some very good, old friends. One was a minister who had told me once that when I got married, he'd come from wherever he was to perform the ceremony for me. After meeting Christine, he said, "Looks like you may be taking me up on that sooner than I thought."

Every time I saw her, I fell harder and harder in love with her.

There was even the time I "lost" her in Target, which could have been the end but was just a funny story.

Our singles group at church each year used part of our money we raised during the year for the angel tree. And our kid that year wanted a toy box. We figured--easy. Oh wrong we were. Christine and I covered two malls and found nothing. We agreed the next day after church we'd go out and get a toybox from Target. So, we went.

We found it and were in line to pay.

"I've got to visit the bathroom" she said. "I will meet you back here in a minute."

So off she goes and as soon as she goes, a line opens up and I'm first in it. I pay and am pleased. I walk down toward the front of the store restrooms and wait. And wait...and wait....no sign of her.

My mind starts to think. I decided what I needed to do was go find her, but I had this huge box with a toybox in it. So, I decided I'd take it to my car, put in in there and then find her in the store. To my mind, this seemed like a really good idea at the time. So, I did and went back in...

Funnily enough, I ran into some friends from church there. I asked if they'd seen her.

They hadn't but they wondered out loud how I lost her.

I told them.

"You'd better find her fast," they said.

I sensed danger.

After three circuits, I found her. She was amused by my story, but she did mercilessly mock me about the whole thinking I should take the toybox out to the car was a good idea.

It had seemed like a good idea. At the time. Looking back, not so much.

I knew it wasn't when I got to church Wednesday. Christine related the story to my best friend and his wife.

Wife: "You're still speaking to him?"
Me: "I have a side here."
Best friend: "No you don't...shut up now before you have to buy out the florist."

You know you've done it when your best friend gives you that advice in front of the girl. This led to her commenting she loved flowers and no one ever sent them to her.

Which led to part of her Christmas gift...but I think I'll cover that next time.

*Names changed to protect the innocent

I am an idiot.

So, there I am last night, having finally worked up the gumption to ask out a woman I've been wanting to ask out for about two weeks. She says sure and then I say to her "Cool, I'll call you closer to the date to figure out details" (we're going to the Titans game Sunday).

I don't have really anything to write her number on, but we have each other's e-mail addresses. So I ask her to drop me her number and I will call her after she's back from Thanksgiving. She says sure and I'll hear from her today.

And it's only after I stop doing the victory lap and grinning like an fool that I realize--you are an idiot.

Sitting on my belt is my cell phone. The cell phone I'm going to use to call her, in which I could have and should have put her number right then and there.

But oh no, I totally miss that moment because I'm an idiot....

Focus, man, focus. Focus on what's important. She said she wanted to go with you to the game. Don't beat yourself up over the small details...too much.

The call

I was out and about Sunday when cell phone rang. Looked down to see that it was one of the two Crazy Women from my life calling me up. I chose not to answer.

She left a message.

"Hey it's Crazy. Just wanted to see how you were and to talk. If you want to give me a call, you know where I am and how to reach me."

Basically same message as the week before. Earlier in the week, I'd been included on a mass e-mail from her and had ignored it as well.

I keep thinking about that line from Wayne's World. "We broke-up!"

Ugh....

Wonder if she'll call this Sunday....heavens, I hope not.